Adoration

Skeevatz Chris took me to see Marie Antionette. He really does try. Maybe Crims is right and I'm creating the problem?

Ready and Over It.

Have slowly become a has been without as new has.

Saturday at the Park

Drinking $3 wine and sitting in the cold woods can be unbelievably entertaining.

Fucking English men in New York never call in time.

Winning the Battle, Losing the War...

OK. So I finally got to attend one of Chris' shows. Honestly, I really enjoyed his band. He moves around! They play well, better than I expected, and these days I've so few nice things to say about Skeevatz Chris anyway. Well, not recently. I'm losing the war. Was very cute how serious he gets about it, I was written in on an old manilla envelope in the front, constitituting the "list." I couldn't help but think, four or five years ago, this would have been so cool. Looking around at that show was just depressing in a way. Old age; the fact that I don't know any of the kids there anymore, and if I did, it'd be through some connection with Steve. And, of course, the fact that alot of those same kids I used to love to see at these things have passed on in the recent years. You know, I see some of them sometimes and they wonder why I don't say hello; why I dropped the JNCOs and the Vans look; why I went from Cathy to Catherine. I got out. It is a strange and colorful world I hope never to visit again.

Now I'm being dramatic.

And you have to wonder, which one would I have been? There was this one prissy blonde a few rows in front of me, wearing a soccer sweatshirt from a private school we had at our dances. I still have my field hockey sweatshirt, the one I wore holes in. She even sported the same hair coloring; amber shimmer #52. Oh, the tacky days!

But in all seriousness aside to my PMSing, I couldn't help but text J. and say, "Chuck a quarter at them."

And if you really think it over, I have gotten out. But there are things I miss about being here all the time, mainly one of course being Jonas. But Chris replaced Jonas, same in-and-out feeling. Only this time I'm old enough to know the difference.

So yes, I've won the battle. I was even nice to his friends, and genuinely happy to see another one's girlfriend. I think she likes me well enough. We've planned out outfits to advertise the band.

I'm losing the war, however. At least today, and oh, how fickle are these affections! When he drove away, I got that feeling, you know where you want to call back but have nothing to say.

A Pamprin will clear that right up and get me back on track AND on the phone with IFF.

Am making new advances at work. My shirts and cashmeres are WALKING off the shelves along with the coats and that retro fit polo. We had a cake for Julius. Am beginning to love work.

Have the faintest notion to call the girl just like me. The other bitches would CRY!

Have I mentioned I'm going broke? Bought another pair of shoes today... at least mentally. Will possibly pick them up tomorrow.

Harrassing C. with S. Love her.

Entry for Sarafilia...

Well dreams of being New York's next trophy wife shameslessy shattered as the delightful Marcus cancelled on me, leaving me to whimper and whine like a wounded animal on the other end. Clearly, will not be hearing from him again. Or will we?

These days, nothing these men do surprises me. I have come to see my romantic fate as a mere ocean filled with lusty currents dragging me away like a piece of driftwood. Somedays I'm really bothered by it, others I'm fine. Frankly I'm giving up.

Well, Skeevatz Chris is always around. Is it wrong to say you're beginning to enjoy the company of a man you once described as a foot fungus? There is something very soothing about Chris. The unconditional, knowing I'll always have him left in the bag is priceless. We discussed relationships once again tonight. I think he's in favor of it. But you know, that scares me. The chance of it actually working out, with Chris of all people, is not a chance I can afford to take. But at the cost of being alone all evening, jerking this kid around...

Needless to say when he anticipated me going home alone and sad he called. Was good to get a hug. Who ever thought I'd be the one to say it?

Mother's fiftieth is this weekend.

Stuck it to those pathetic girls in class. The older I get the more and more childish I find things around me. Am glad for people of previously deemed dubious nature. Soemtimes you meet the coolest people in the unexpected bodies!

Wishing Alex was online, would like a chat. I think he's in France.

Am broker than broke these days.

Missing Sarafilia, who I am writing this for.

Tasting My Own Medicine in the Taming of the Skeeves

OMG! I can no longer shamelessly stalk Skeevatz Chris via MySapce! He put up a privacy as well!!!!!

But I've notice my taming act is working. He apologized for three minutes on my answering machine last night. Aha. Got him down, indeed.

Wore out my new boots last night at Mo's of all places while Sher romanced a greasey Italian man. Hmm. Met the fabulous Kate and Melissa of course was in the mix. Got ridiculous amounts of men in the streets whilst sporting my new riding boots. I looked so hot. Wow.

Am currently broke and still shopping.