Winning the Battle, Losing the War...

OK. So I finally got to attend one of Chris' shows. Honestly, I really enjoyed his band. He moves around! They play well, better than I expected, and these days I've so few nice things to say about Skeevatz Chris anyway. Well, not recently. I'm losing the war. Was very cute how serious he gets about it, I was written in on an old manilla envelope in the front, constitituting the "list." I couldn't help but think, four or five years ago, this would have been so cool. Looking around at that show was just depressing in a way. Old age; the fact that I don't know any of the kids there anymore, and if I did, it'd be through some connection with Steve. And, of course, the fact that alot of those same kids I used to love to see at these things have passed on in the recent years. You know, I see some of them sometimes and they wonder why I don't say hello; why I dropped the JNCOs and the Vans look; why I went from Cathy to Catherine. I got out. It is a strange and colorful world I hope never to visit again.

Now I'm being dramatic.

And you have to wonder, which one would I have been? There was this one prissy blonde a few rows in front of me, wearing a soccer sweatshirt from a private school we had at our dances. I still have my field hockey sweatshirt, the one I wore holes in. She even sported the same hair coloring; amber shimmer #52. Oh, the tacky days!

But in all seriousness aside to my PMSing, I couldn't help but text J. and say, "Chuck a quarter at them."

And if you really think it over, I have gotten out. But there are things I miss about being here all the time, mainly one of course being Jonas. But Chris replaced Jonas, same in-and-out feeling. Only this time I'm old enough to know the difference.

So yes, I've won the battle. I was even nice to his friends, and genuinely happy to see another one's girlfriend. I think she likes me well enough. We've planned out outfits to advertise the band.

I'm losing the war, however. At least today, and oh, how fickle are these affections! When he drove away, I got that feeling, you know where you want to call back but have nothing to say.

A Pamprin will clear that right up and get me back on track AND on the phone with IFF.

Am making new advances at work. My shirts and cashmeres are WALKING off the shelves along with the coats and that retro fit polo. We had a cake for Julius. Am beginning to love work.

Have the faintest notion to call the girl just like me. The other bitches would CRY!

Have I mentioned I'm going broke? Bought another pair of shoes today... at least mentally. Will possibly pick them up tomorrow.

Harrassing C. with S. Love her.