Revalation

Better today, but sad as ever. Nothing happens. No change in forecast. Nothing. Monotony used to make me feel safe, I'm bored now with never meeting any new people.

Over the nonsense with Chris and his India. Have decided things happen for a reason, and we aren't the same. We don't value the same things, and I do look at the future.

Have understood that there is nothing wrong with that, or with me. It is actually a sad little realization, as am now back to being bored.

Other Enlightenments:

1. I AM an ice queen. It works on me, I'm quite pale and my nose upturns naturally. I'm part Scandinaivan; it's practically my heritage.

2. I have dated better men in the past and will continue to date such men in the future, Chrissy or none.

3. I cannot define my self worth by a man, who, at 29, will give $20 to a friend for sticking hot sauce up his nose.

4. I cannot define my self worth by a MAN.

5. The future is bright and now it is a free of black t-shirts purchased for 25 cents.

6. I do not like penguins.

7. It is similarly fitting (see #1) that my younger brother called him a donkey. He really is a jackass.

8. I am ready to move on with my life. And I want to do this without the need for pennicilun that a relationship with India's throwbacks might insue.

9. I can be biting when I think in truth.

10. I simply want more. He couldn't give it. Not that he didn't try as I always claimed, he just couldn't give it. And she is satisfied whereas I never was. So, let it be.

11. My family has enough drama.

12. Square toe shoes are OUT. And his insistence to wear them proves the insistence to never changing.

13. I can not live without change.

14. I never liked his band, his friends (except D., but for nothing more than is not respectable) , his taste in drinks, his preference for stupid girls, and his mother. In fact, I want to reiterate that, it was so freeing. I NEVER LIKED HIS BAND, HIS FRIENDS, HIS DRINKS, HIS MOTHER. I DIDN'T THINK HIS MOTHER WAS SO GREAT.

15. I don't think he was a good guitar player. I found him very stiff. And those photos he so glorified were cheesy and made me laugh, not with him, at him.

16. One word: TEETH.

17. Ice cream with a fork. Give this damn girl a good spoon!!!

18. I laughed the day it ended, I laughed the day after that, and then that. And I'm still laughing; living. I'm still living. If he isn't powerful enough to make all that stop, he isn't all that great, no?


So the lesson of dearest Chrissy is not to lose oneself in misery, not to let one's own hurt ego tranform itself into a romanticized version of the man himself. Let us remeber, dear readers, that one can fix what began broken. It's just easier to return it.

And who is tacky enough to rebuy?