Above and Beyond

Made an appointment today for next week.

Went today for the first time just for moral support; never expecting anything to be gained from it for my own personal benefit. But I have to admit, it did help me in a way; going through all this horrible time of feeling abandoned and thrown away, it was helpful to see that I wasn't alone in struggling. I will never know what that is like, but I can understand what it is like to feel that down, to want an escape. I also felt good in being needed, being asked to go.

The last few months have felt empty. This endless carousel of men with no real tangibility, the endless search and constant frustration in coming up short every time drives me crazy. I feel less and less hopeful for anything different; constantly reliving the rejection, whether real or just imagined. But I mean you see other people having conquered something so much larger than my own whining and misgivings, it really gives you thought. There IS something beyond. There IS an end to the fight. There IS something else.

New prospects looking brighter, at least. Tim the Brit was too dry. Onto a host of American law men. A class-action lawyer, a litigator con MBA, and a friend of an ex. I'm hoping the Opera is in store, I've forever wanted to go... or the ballet! Back to the Billionaire Boys Club this weekend as have been noticed. At least am kept busy. B is back and evenings are active again. I have some red heels I've been dying to wear.

Am feeling better, day by day.