J & A

When you were a little boy, I always thought you'd be a perfect man. I'm so glad I was right. I see in you so much of me. You tell me I was like your nanny, I'm not that much older than you are but I understand what you mean. Rolling in your red Mercedes to the best of the eighties is always where I need to be when things get difficult for me. Nothing you do doesn't make me smile.

I sincerely hope you find someone who treats you right. I feel this year was good for you, finding who you are and falling in love with an unlikely subject. It's been good for you to find a man who you like for themselves, and not for what he offers. When I hear what you went through, we always compare because it's so similar to me. We like the same foods, but you have the willpower to stay away from them. We have the same ideals, the same cravings for the life around us, I really think we could live together if I weren't so messy.

I used to take you downtown to see the museums, you love looking all the beautiful things and reading every inscription. You're such a Virgo this way! I was the first person you and your sister called when your mother passed, I felt so helpless as it was the one time I had no idea what to say.

I have alot of friends, its true, but only two like you and J. And now M! I know you all wish me well, and that means alot, it really does. I have alot of negative qualities and you get them, I get you.

You ask me to the club, we should go sometime. You understood S the first time you saw her. We eat pizza on the weekends and bullshit about the men we know. I love that you like to shop with me. We'd be married if it weren't this way, we like to shop and to eat and to bitch. It would be perfect! You like the smell of my hair and tell me when I look dumpy. Most of the time you are right, more than I like to admit.

You asked me tonight if I was still insecure. I love that you see it.

For my two best of friends and surrogate siblings, much, much love.