Never Talk About People You May See in the Street...

So, casually strolling through the streets I've walked since I was younger. Rocking those faded Levi's and my coat with the fur collar that falls off when I sit down. On the phone with S, being loud and chugging my ever present cup of coffee.

I look up, and THERE you were.

I couldn't tell if you saw me, so I kept going, halfway wishing I could disappear. You looked good. Red scarf. Talking to two men who could probably be my father. I'm such a creep, I walked by like it was nothing. You didn't see or hear me, and, even if you did, what could you do with those men there?

I guess you must work really hard. You appear to be good at what you do. What I like about you most is, I'd never have known if I didn't ask. It intimidates me, now that I know. Your age as well. I'll admit, seeing you there tonight made it obvious how ridiculous I really am. I stood, in my fur coat with an enormous purse, gabbing to S, and feeling small. I seemed so unimportant. I felt so foolish, so immature. I was grateful to have left in my contact lenses and to have combed my hair. Me and my loud, obnoxious accent! But maybe you appreciate that, like I appreciate your seriousness? When we spoke yesterday, you made an effort to emphasize that you drink as if to suggest, "I'M FUN!" You always punctuate with an emoticon. Am I supposed to understand this as condescending? Maybe. But you must dig me if you can say orange soda and whiskey sounds tasty, even entertaining the conversation was key. Even I know its absolutely disgusting.

Doesn't matter. I'm just hopeful I got away with it, that you didn't hear me.

In other news, C is finally going on vacation, leaving us, her measly team to our own devices for two days.

Completely exhausted and dried out in my skin. I bought another bottle of the lotion that doesn't make me itch and have been working out like a fiend ever since Atlantic City. I ate HALF a laffy taffy (you know how hard this is for me!) and threw out a good third of my dinner. I'm on my way to healthy.