Am doing better this week though am still having random outbursts. Am so angry at said individuals. But I put down the phone today and went to the gym and just got on the treadmill and ran, ran, ran until I couldn't feel angry anymore for lack of energy. And then I came home and had a good cry, miserable that I can be so angry without any sort of outlet.
It is just not fair that I can be forgotten after an entire year. It is not fair that he should get away scotch free and I should have to suffer. It is not fair that someone would want to do this to me and then tell me, "Oh, you're very nice." I want to break his new car. I want to break his face in. I want him to hurt as much as I do.
But what good would that do to anyone? He's a worthless human being, like so many others, and I will get through this. Daniel called to take me out again, B. invited me to Michigan, K. invited me to Virginia Beach. I dropped J. because she was no good. There is an end to all this pain, whether or not I see it.
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