Happy despite the crumbling of my world. Shanghai.
I made money today at the register, I'm really enjoying my new section. I'm glad to be rid of the old area.
I was putting back the hangbacks with Yelin and noticed a couple by the fitting room. They just had gotten engaged and she moved from England to come live with him. They looked so happy and he did up her dress and fixed her stockings and just sat there the whole time she tried on clothes.
And part of me wished I would be asked to go to China with him. And then the rest had to look away because I was going to cry.
I've got to get out of here. I'm tired of this constant mental war between the stronger half and the half that just wants to be loved and forgiven by all the things I need to let go. Jen, Jacks, Marymount, all of it. All of the damage.
But I am going to beat this. Day by day, step by step, dollar by dollar. I've just got to hold it up.
Tomorrow is Ashley's party. Am very excited because I will be seen with:
A) My hair NOT ONLY washed but also combed
B) Mascara!
C) Clothing that isn't for Bloomingdales,' not a SINGLE ONE of my items in black!
D) All my fantastic FIt friends, who I haven't really hung out with outside of our Friday club
It is wonderful to know, at the end of the day, as I sit here; exhausted from work, school, and socializing, that life is going on. And I'm living it.
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